channel 83

Sun, 12 Apr 2009 17:15:35 GMT

In spite of not posting anything for several months here are a few updates:

1. Moving out of the country to teach.
2. Deferred a graduate program for one year though it's not my first choice graduate school. I chose to do so because I was nominated at my university for a really competitive scholarship, but even as a finalist I will only have around a 3% chance of winning. If I don't win then I'll decline my admittance.
3. Trying to get a domain name.
4. Doing a series of drawings referencing documentary video footage of Oliver the "Humanzee" (though not a real Humanzee)
5. Doing a series of 2D assemblages from computer components
6. Attempting to write a cogent statement about my work.
7. Five films I watched recently: Alphaville (1965), Vampyr (1932), Gummo (1997), a few Paul Sharits films (1968-76), Howls Moving Castle (2004).
8. Deciding on how I will manage my studio work while overseas.

Thu, 04 Dec 2008 08:01:29 GMT

There have been no recent posts due to slaving over graduate school applications and trying to find the money to pay for them. In addition to that, I have been extremely stir crazy, generally tired, and on edge, maybe I need to give myself one entire day to just sleep, but I know I can never drive myself to something that absurd. Recently, I did get two applications submitted (and a third is on the horizon) and I celebrated by watching Mister Lonely and eXistenZ. Entries will be more frequent post January 15th and this journal may become some sort of note taking/image/sketch log. As for now I know where I need to be investing my free time.

Sketches

Sat, 25 Oct 2008 17:35:24 GMT

Выбивание денег

Fri, 24 Oct 2008 06:18:31 GMT

8:18pm

Tue, 14 Oct 2008 01:37:39 GMT

I use to play here when I was a kid. Nearby was a chicken processing plant, the gravel road just beyond the parking lot use to be masked by trees so you could easily sneak back there. We nicked named this place "the desert" which it was like a "desert" surrounded by a sprawl of pine trees; it's still there in the picture with most of it's cover torn down. The recent land development has effortlessly procured this frequent spot of my childhood and unveiled all it's secrets.

Mon, 06 Oct 2008 00:32:16 GMT

I have returned from Vermont. I was up there because I was given some fellowship money to attended an artist residency I applied for. Deciding to do this was a last minute ordeal, I literally had about a week to decided If I wanted to go or not, despite that, and the portion of money I still have to pay, I agreed to stay for a month.

me

work

work

gihon

leaving

The weather in that part of the country was nothing short of vaporous and gray for the duration I was there. But what does that even matter to me (absolutely nothing), I did not even go out for a walk, a hike, other than between the studio, my bed, and the dining hall. The remanding parts of my time there were spent with the other artists, a lot of them were a real pleasure to converse and to critique with. Being there and talking to these other residents and visiting artisans gave me a better sense of security with my own work, especially when I'm still trying to find a specific tone I would fit into and I only say this because I'm harsh on myself (I'm sure somebody else could label me as something). Labeling can be a little confining, just like attempting to title something and not have it ruin the quality of contemplation and whatever dialectical value it may retain.

When I returned home I immediately went to the film festival in town. This year the films that were notable to me was the documentaries; two of the docs that really stood out were I think we're alone now and Rock-A-Fire explosion. My screening went okay, when my film was screened two things happened 1. I had an epiphany that the content in my video was probably not suited for any typical audience. 2. A lot of people left.

AM3R1C4, AM3R1C4, AM3R1C4, AMERICA IRL

Mon, 25 Aug 2008 00:41:16 GMT

Has been accepted into the local film festival.

Frames:

Sun, 20 Jul 2008 01:14:46 GMT

Currently in:

looking at:

Night Visions III

Fri, 11 Jul 2008 22:56:50 GMT

Wed, 09 Jul 2008 00:07:14 GMT

Night visions II

Recently I've became interested in night vision, mainly in it's pseudo-philosophical function concerning our infatuated gaze upon technology. Here is some really general information about night vision:

Generation 0

The first night vision device was utilized in 1936 during WWII. Active infrared technology was put to use in the original NVD system allowing a person to see in the dark. The AI device (very large and clumsy) would shoot a beam of infrared light at whatever the device was pointed at, this beam would bounce off the targeted object and back into it's lens to be processed into an image. This was abandoned for military use due to the fact that the infrared light from the device could be seen in the dark. The advancement of these night vision optics are broken down into consecutive generations.

Generation I (passive infrared)

A passive infrared NVD does not project an infrared light to it's target, but it uses ambient light emitted by the moon and the stars to create a viable image in the dark. Cloudy or moonless nights yields to a less discernible image. Inside of a passive infrared device would be an image intensifier tube. The ambient light this tube absorbs is made up of photons, these particles of light pass through a photo-cathode tube inside of the device which transforms the photons into electrons. These electrons are amplified, then displayed on a phosphorus screen that changes the electrons back into visible light , and the results:

Generation 2

This model incorporates a microchannel plate inside the of the image intensifier tube, enabling the detection of more electrons, resulting in a brighter image and higher resolution. Because of the addition of the MCP , even on a moonless night the operator will still be able to see in the dark.

Generation 3

The photo cathode is now made of gallium arsenide (gallium + arsenic) which converts photons to electrons more sufficiently. An ion barrier film is now coated on the MCP increasing the lifespan of the image intensifier tube.

Generation 4

The ion barrier film is removed from the generation 3 MCP to decrease visual noise. An automatic gated power supply is integrated allowing the voltage within the photo cathode tube to automatically adapt to the surrounding lighting environment.

3:01 AM

Tue, 24 Jun 2008 08:36:44 GMT

Night visions

12:30 am

Fri, 13 Jun 2008 05:32:21 GMT

Neu

Sat, 07 Jun 2008 16:49:58 GMT

I'm sweating as I'm writing this, deep south humidity is beyond brutality. Time to share some thoughts I've had about:

Videodrome

If there is one film that has inspired me and never ceases to unfold since 1983 Videodrome is one of those films that keeps me thinking about the melancholic function of technology, media and it's effects on reality. I understand I'm probably not the only person who has had something to say about David Cronenberg's Videodrome being an excellent premonition of contemporary technology. In fact I've been a little hesitant to write about Videodrome without seeming too redundant. However, regardless of my apprehensiveness I've been looking at the film as being specific to the Internet.

Lets assume Max Renn's tv station "Channel 83" is our archetype of a lascivious website. Obviously the flow of traffic on Max's channel is dependent on what is being shown. Max is obviously becoming desensitized to the usual programming on his channel, so he seeks out something that never ceases to keep his eyes stuck to the screen. Upon discovery of "Videodrome" in the film, Max begins to take on a role like today's online voyeur upon watching the Videodrome infected program. Like Max, the lifestyle of online voyeurs is one that is constantly being desensitized and re-tested.

As the film progresses Max then decides that he would like to start screening this "snuff tv" program in hopes to upsurge the traffic program on his channel, also comparable to the myriad of similar websites found online. However, his plans are thwarted and a downward spiral proceeds. As the film progresses Max's world begins to slowly dissolve, his somatic reality begins to intermingle with television realm, a "video hallucination" as Brian O' Oblivion calls it. This melding between reality and hallucination is so subtle its hard to determine where it actually begins and ends, if it ends at all. This confusion is nothing short of Cronenberg's will. Cronenberg accurately pinpoints how television has elusively crawled under the skin of society and affects the way it perceives and interacts with everything. Let's consider the film's femme fatal Nicki Brand for instance, whether her existence in the film was tactile before she left to be in Videodrome is arguable.

Her character plays Max's object of desire, once supposedly real ,and then transformed into a TV's RBG pixels. After Nikki's departure the story then leads into the film's most notable scene. Max Renn's television set begins to breath and Nikki's face appears on it's screen. Nikki (on screen) begins to goad Max saying,"Come to Nikki", Max curiously approaches the pulsating TV set and proceeds to caress it, the television erotically replies, Max then smothers his face into this new sexualized object.

Concise and very literal, this scene is an excellent note of how our perverse desires have superseded into technological apparatuses, again much like the Internet, and even video games. Abstractly these physical objects (pc cases, video game consoles, hard drives, video cards, motherboards, RAM, etc) that hosts our digital media almost seem to have a life of their own, living, breathing and under constant flux until their death by obseleition yields to the next best technology that can replace them. Much like sexual utilization of cars in J.G. Ballard's novel Crash (1973), these objects have become new and alternative sexualized objects for our libidinous vices.

Identity and fragments:

The character Brian O'Blivion plays the film's most intriguing roll . He refuses to appear anywhere but through the television screen and claims his pseudonym as "Brain O'Blivion". In the film we are led to believe that somewhere this man is alive, interacting with the world indirectly via TV. This is not the case, we are fooled. We find out that Brian O'blivion has been dead for quite some time and what is left of him are fragments of information, monologues he recorded on videotapes. I find this very harrowing if you consider blogging, chatting, YouTube, Myspace and other social networking websites. Users take on false identities to transfer and exaggerate their lives online, ultimately leaving digital fragments of themselves floating around in cyberspace, quite like Brian O'Blivion's video monologues floating around on television in the film. Also, lets not forget about all the dead Myspacers, as they now have appropriated a Brian O'Blivion like identity.

As for our online screen names consider this quote by Mr.O'blivion:

"Of course, "O'Blivion" was not the name I was born with. That's my television name. Soon, all of us will have special names — names designed to cause the cathode ray tube to resonate."

Retrospectively, Videodrome is a film that has a slew of prophetic aphorisms that should be taken account of, especially when society casually accepts what is on screen to be "real", and let it affect them as if it were such. However, the Internet is unmistakably more abrasive than television, given that it is a place made up of other users and their content, which substantially requires more interaction. Videodrome still faithfully replies to a lot of our technological crisis. Cronenberg's use of violence and sex in his films re-affirm that such content will always yield toward higher emotional responses (which works well given the premise of Videodrome), reminding us of the human condition, and that we are all voyeurs.

4:43 pm

Tue, 20 May 2008 22:03:25 GMT

A few updates

Deathsex:

Livecam
I'm running live webcam feed on my site which will constantly translate "IRL" to the Internet and continuously change scenes throughout each day running.

Currently reading:
The Simulacra: Phillip K. Dick
The Society of the Spectacle: Guy Debord
The Sorrows of Young Werther: Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

Currently Listening:
Ordo Ad Chao: Mayhem
Trances and Drones: Robert Rich
Cell Scape: Melt Banana
The Narcotic Story: Oxbow

Thu, 15 May 2008 08:12:38 GMT

I have to find a new place to work, tomorrow is my last day teaching because of the summer break. Not only do I need another job but I need something that will pay more frequently than this teaching ordeal. My work hours are fairly steady but its not enough to get by really, getting paid once a month and working less than 20 hours a week is the problem. The fact is, like most people of my type just don't want to work, especially when you live in growing suburbia/corporate jungle, your employment options are limited to whatever has a business within a large retail shopping center. I had a few thoughts about going back and working at my school, maybe the library, which is dependent on many things, how many hours, how much pay, where would I live? Damn, maybe I should just get a work visa, buy a ticket and fly to Europe. I'm tired of driving everywhere, I'm ready for public transportation, gas without a doubt is a bill buster.

I've been writing more than usual as well, lately I've been writing about Videodrome. I re-watched the film again recently for the whatever-eth time. Videodrome always seems to strangely unfold really great premonitions of what technology will and has become; people given television pseudonyms, new flesh , video hallucinations, technology supplanting desires, indefinitely the list can go on. An essay maybe on the horizon.

ON BEHERIT:

If you're into metal of a darker breed, I suggest you listen to the short lived Finnish black metal band Berherit (1989-1996). Beherit only released two full length black metal albums before releasing two ambient albums in the early 1990s. The band's ex-line up features:

Nuclear Holocausto - vocals, guitar, keyboards
Black Jesus - bass
Sodomatic Slaughter - drums
Necroperversor - drums
Kimmo Luttinen - drums

If you choose to listen to Beherit, then their album Drawing Down the Moon (1993) is a must. The album has really weird post processed vocals, at times Holocausto sounds like he is hurling vocals down in a shallow pit made of iron and you're stuck in the bottom. Also, on occasion you will hear a fucked up breathing and choking sound in the microphone. Most tracks on the album feature some sort of ambient underscore and a few tracks are purely ambient, all of which you will find quite off kilter for a typical black metal album, all of this truly makes Drawing Down the Moon a diamond in the rough.

"Solomon's Gate" from Drawing down the Moon

A translated interview with Beherit:
http://www.sadomator.com/beherit/interview17_02.html
Original source:
http://www.sadomator.com/beherit/interview17.html

*Beherit is the Syriac name for Satan

Fri, 09 May 2008 15:55:42 GMT

I took a few shots from down below.

Also, it is almost submission time for the local film festival here in town. I've been going to the Sidewalk film festival since 2005 and each year I've had films screened. This year I will be submitting a video piece I started a few months ago, its almost done, I just have to finish it before late next month. The piece is a lot different from what they usually screen, but they seem to be pretty open when it comes to "unconventional" video work. But if it gets rejected, its no big deal, as there is another film festival that screens all the rejected films from Sidewalk.

2:11 am

Mon, 28 Apr 2008 07:15:06 GMT

Some new drawings.

Kills

Play

10:35 pm

Sun, 20 Apr 2008 03:44:51 GMT

I've setup a test run of an installation I've been working on for the past few months. This is such a relief.

I'm still working on the video portion of it though, but it's is coming along really well.

I did end up burning a 120v to 12v wall outlet converter and another converter that runs to a set of lights, costing me some extra money which is something I don't have a lot of. However, these things are soon be replaced and I'll have a fully functional piece on my hands before long.

But from all of this I have learned some handy electrical/lighting work. Something which will be applied to many works in the future.

Maybe I'll post some images soon.

Dogs

Mon, 14 Apr 2008 16:01:34 GMT

Its spring here, and its going to be 32° tonight, everything seems to be in good order.

I've started new drawings, here is a small study:

Doggies

Right now I'm doing drawings of dogs. I've been testing out different papers to draw on and have not yet decided on which kind best suites my needs.

Also I'm making some Flash videos titled AM3R1C4.

I was rejected from Skowhegan and as a response I decided to apply to the Vermont Studio Center.

There is this Japanese splatter film coming out sometime this year titled Tokyo Gore Police which has gotten me excited.

3-16-08, 2:40 am

Sun, 16 Mar 2008 07:42:13 GMT

Wow, I've been trying to keep myself entirely too busy lately, even when I attempt, and sometimes procrastinate I feel like it also brings about wear and tear on my functioning. Anyway, I've been pounding it out in the studio and I'm close to being finished with this large series of drawings, which so far they have been a pleasure making. But, goddamn I'm ready to move to some other 2d work. I've been trying to keep the spirits high by putting a lot of time in the last few drawings in the entire batch. Some will be laid to rest and re-done as well.

These PC cases that I painted are complete, amounting to a total of eight. Two out of four pedestals are complete as well, they have been a big obstacle due their sizes. All thats left is the video portion and re-wiring the lights for a test run. Hopefully around the start of this summer they'll be ready for display. As far as where they will be displayed at is in the air. Maybe in the university's gallery.

Tomorrow I'm flying up to NY and I'll be there for a little over a week. I have a free place to stay which is excellent news. Plus I'm very eager to finally see some good art in the flesh.

A few days ago I watched Andre Tarkovsky's Andrei Rublev (1966). I fell in love with the film's cinematography and those very meticulous crane shots spanning high above. All to die for. I'm also wondering whats with Tarkovsky's obsession with these specific shots of the water and ground? Well, I wouldn't go as far as to say its an obsessive feature in his work, but I've also noticed similar shots in a later film of his, Stalker(1979).

I also watched Kenneth Anger's Lucifer Rising (1972).

Does anyone approve of the "new" David Cronenberg films? I think there needs to be a discussion. Not to say his last two films are poorly crafted, but rather to compare his typical ideas and themes that are usually dominate in his work.

I've been feeling emotionally stagnate lately, a really mediocre feeling has settled in. I think its because I'm lonely, I don't really have an enormous social life right now and any form of professional networking is next to null. At least I'm getting work done.

I think I can even see this emotional stagnation by looking at this entry, it's lacking literary eloquence. Thats another thing too, I think my writing isn't up to par as it should be. I have a (physical) journal, but I just write ideas for projects in it and write about my work.

Return

Wed, 05 Mar 2008 02:25:05 GMT

I'm back, sort of. I've been busy making traveling arrangements and working on projects, and attempting to write up a statement of intent for graduate schools. I'll be posting something more in depth here before long. But look at these drawings made in my class.

Tire swing 2008

Snowman and Child 2008

Pagoda 2008

Pagoda II 2008

Drawings of me 2008, despite the blood shot eyes, I'm not on any sort of drug.

Fri, 15 Feb 2008 04:53:28 GMT

Last weekend:

I got my activism on so me and a friend booked it to Atlanta for a protest against the Church of Scientology. The Scientologists failed to come out and show themselves which is probably due to the fact they have received copious amounts of media attention that makes them look really bad. However they did send out a few drones to take pictures of us, being a typical scare tactic they utilize.

photos are here

Also:
Hopefully I'll be booking a flight to NY tomorrow.
I'm building a pedestal.
My libido maybe satisfied soon.
I sent a friend two drawings and some pocket change in return for his theater performance he mailed to me on dvd.
Fall 2009 I anticipate to be out of this state. Will anyone need a roommate?
In the next few months I'll be preparing to make larger scale drawings.
My birthday is soon and I don't really about it at this point.

2-2-08 1:42pm

Sat, 02 Feb 2008 19:52:34 GMT

I sent off another letter of interest to a grad school. Thats two so far. I think I'm getting burnt out on drawing, probably because this series I'm working on is getting redundant and I probably need to move on after I meet my three figure goal. When I meet this goal, I'm going to re-evaluate what I'm doing and determine IF I really should continue. If I don't continue this project I'm going to snuff out the bad pieces and re-do some. It's bothersome not having anyone around to critique these things. Nobody has ever given me a harsh criticism of my work (I think), I feel like I need one, I've been waiting for one. Why do I feel like someone just needs to tell me what I'm doing is not good? Maybe I'm just around my work so much I get a little sick of looking at it, especially if I'm doing the same things over and over again. So, therefore I'm anticipating some sort of excuse to do something else.

My cases are coming along well, I've obtained my last case and started installing lights inside of them. Next I have to figure out how they will be displayed and how I'm going to incorporate a video.

I sent off a pretty decent proposal packet to a local gallery in hopes of getting my work displayed. Knowing how this system works around here and the size of the town, most likely I will not be shown in that gallery for quite some time. Furthermore I'm sure I have to know the right people, go to the right stupid parties, because the art world is bent on who you know and how well you can suck cock. Sad.

I keep having dreams with the same person in it. These dreams are usually libidos. I don't know the person really well, nor do they live near me. I went to school with this person. Strange. I think my mind is telling me I need to find someone to be with when I sleep, but I reject this. I need to go somewhere, a place not near here, people where I live usually stick around, they have no ambition to leave this place. I don't really believe that they will go anywhere as cynical as it may sound. This is just the way I feel about them.

I have a lot of movies and books to get into. Right now I'm reading Travels in Hyperreality by Umberto Eco, and Susan Sontag's Regarding the Pain of Others as well. As far as film goes I need to watch, Death in Venice, Perfume, Opera, and some Cronenberg films I yet have to watch: Spider, Existenz, and M.Butterfly. I need to make time to watch these, I've been trying to keep myself so busy I think I'm loosing the precious time I need to educate myself.

Things I need do to.
1. Finish sculpture (all of it)
2. Finish drawing series
3. Write another letter of interest
4. Arrange a trip to NY
5. Write about my work
6. Try to get into an exhibition
7. Watch a play my friend directed on DVD
8. Watch and read films/literature I listed
9. Eventually buy a DVD burner, or just build another computer
10. Do not lose momentum

real

Wed, 23 Jan 2008 08:41:37 GMT

I've landed some work in an after school program that teaches kids how to draw. (I'm going to hate it). The only positive factor of this part time riff raff is that I get paid well, and I get to examine very scary" kiddy" drawings.

I sent off my 2nd application for an 11 month residency today. However, this residency looks like it supports a lot of that faux-indie-hipster-art. When I mean faux-indie-hipster-art I think of art that would be on the cover of a Wes Anderson film or a Shins album. If I get accepted I'll be sure to cum and piss on every piece that I do, I'll be as scary as possible. By the looks of my application and the supporting materials, they will probably decided I'm too scary to live in their artist commune. I've lurked through images they've posted of their exhibitions and I'm definitely a wild card, I guess.

I've been doing some different things with my art lately. But these things are in progress, so I'm not going to show anything. One involves pc cases and cold cathodes.

I e-mailed a local gallery today. I asked what the submission guidelines were for proposing an exhibition. Hopefully they will be nice and look at what I have in mind. I would like to show, and show a lot. I have no connections in this fucking town. The art scene here is really skimpy and only a few decent galleries exist. These few galleries are usually booked to the hilt. I have to get out of here. Soon.

There are new drawings posted on my site. Go look at them. They 're part of a large series I've been slaving over for some time now. "Drawingz from the Internet". Feed back and harsh criticism is welcome.

Around here

Fri, 18 Jan 2008 07:46:39 GMT